I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize