he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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