Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
