yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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