How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
