LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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