that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
