hotel room ftw
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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