I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
