After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
