I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
