Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
