remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
