Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
