I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
