Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
