i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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