Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I cockslap morals
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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