Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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