tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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