wrigley field is MILF paradise
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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