I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
