once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
