we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
