We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
