ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
