I'm going to jail i love you
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
