i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
