do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
