I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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