The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize