I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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