Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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