Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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