so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
