You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
