Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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