She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
