After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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