Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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