take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
