So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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