You're my little dorito
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
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