I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
