Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
