Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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