3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
