she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize