i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
