The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
