he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
