You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
