4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
