So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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