I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
