I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
