that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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