Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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