I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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