i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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