Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
