just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
